Words shape perceptions. The way you phrase a request, a thought, or an objection doesn’t just influence how others see you—it influences how you see yourself. Seemingly harmless phrases can chip away at your confidence, subtly signaling insecurity, doubt, or a lack of conviction. Over time, these habitual expressions can condition you to feel smaller in professional settings, making it harder to project the presence and authority you deserve.
63% of professionals admit they use “weak” language in emails or meetings, often without realizing it
Research backs this up. According to a study published in the Harvard Business Review, people who use tentative language—such as hedging statements or self-effacing qualifiers—are perceived as less competent and influential in workplace discussions. Another LinkedIn survey found that 63% of professionals admit they use “weak” language in emails or meetings, often without realizing it.
So, how can you ensure that your words reinforce your confidence rather than diminish it? Start by eliminating these three common phrases that erode credibility and replacing them with stronger alternatives.
1. “I hate to bother you, but—”
Before you even state your request, you've framed yourself as an inconvenience. The word “bother” suggests that your needs are secondary and that your presence is intrusive. Subconsciously, this phrasing diminishes your own sense of worth and primes the listener to feel annoyed before they even hear what you have to say.
Instead, say: “When you get a moment, I’d like to grab your attention.”
This alternative respects the other person’s time while maintaining a confident stance. It sets the expectation that what you have to say is worth their attention, reinforcing mutual respect rather than self-diminishment.
2. “Does that make sense?”
Though often well-intentioned, this phrase subtly plants doubt in the listener’s mind. It implies that your message may have been unclear or that you lack confidence in your own communication skills. Worse, it shifts responsibility onto the listener, suggesting that it might be their fault if they didn’t understand.
Instead, say: “Do you have any questions?” or “What are your thoughts?”
This tweak transforms the interaction from one of insecurity to one of engagement. It invites dialogue without undermining your credibility and assumes that your message is clear.
3. “I don’t want to.”
This phrase, though direct, often sounds defensive or even petulant. It lacks the polish of professionalism and can make you seem resistant rather than assertive.
Instead, say: “I’d prefer not to.”
This subtle shift conveys that you have a reasoned preference rather than an emotional reaction. It sets a boundary while projecting self-assurance and thoughtfulness.
Small Shifts, Big Impact
Language is powerful. You naturally sound more assertive and credible by removing passive, self-diminishing phrases. These small shifts not only change how others perceive you but also reinforce your own internal confidence.
Next time you catch yourself using a confidence-killing phrase, pause. Reframe. Speak with conviction. If you’re ready to take your confidence to the next level, enroll in our online course, Confidence From the Inside Out. It’s time to make every word work for you—not against you.