Whether you're leading a small team or managing a large department, your ability to coach will unlock the potential of your employees, improve performance, and strengthen relationships. However, even well-intentioned managers often fall into coaching traps that reduce effectiveness.
Your ability to coach will unlock the potential of your employees, improve performance, and strengthen relationships.
To become a successful manager-coach, it's crucial to recognize and avoid these common bad habits. Let's explore them in more detail to ensure your coaching supports, rather than hinders, your team's growth.
Fixing Instead of Coaching
Managers are often seen as problem solvers. When an issue arises, jumping in with the solution is natural. After all, it's probably why you became a leader. But when you "fix" problems for your team, you miss the opportunity to empower them to find their own solutions.
Coaching, by definition, is about guiding employees to discover answers themselves. If you continuously provide answers, your employees may need to develop critical problem-solving skills or confidence. Your solution might not suit their strengths, context, or working style. Instead, focus on helping your employees navigate their challenges. Ask guiding questions, provide space for reflection, and trust in their ability to generate solutions.
A recent Gallup survey found that 70% of employee engagement depends on managers, and much of that engagement comes from feeling supported, not micromanaged. Coaching allows you to help without taking over.
Manipulating Through Questions
Sometimes, managers fall into the habit of leading their employees to a predetermined answer through a series of suggestive questions. This can feel like you're coaching, but in reality, it's manipulating the conversation.
For example, instead of asking, "What's another way you could handle this issue?" if you already have a specific solution in mind and are leading them toward it, it's not coaching—it's directing in disguise. This can feel condescending and erode trust. Employees will quickly recognize when they're being guided toward your solution rather than being allowed to arrive at their own.
If you already have a specific solution in mind and are leading them toward it, it's not coaching—it's directing in disguise.
In a genuine coaching relationship, managers and employees explore unknown territory together. Instead of focusing on a specific answer, remain open to multiple possibilities and let the employee's insights steer the conversation. If you feel strongly about a particular solution, state it. Honest transparency fosters better results than leading someone through a predetermined path.
Interrupting the Employee
As managers, we're often pressed for time, leading to the temptation to interrupt employees to keep the conversation moving. But when you cut them off mid-sentence, you risk losing the heart of their concerns, potentially missing out on critical insights.
Studies on communication show that employees who feel heard are 4.6 times more likely to perform their best work. By practicing patience and allowing for silence in conversations, you create space for employees to dig deeper into their thoughts, often leading to better solutions. The best coaching sometimes happens in quiet moments, giving employees time to process before speaking.
Coaching While Distracted
Multitasking is common in today's fast-paced work environments. Still, you undermine the session's effectiveness when you coach while distracted—whether glancing at emails, handling a phone call, or thinking about the next meeting.
A 2023 study by Deloitte found that managers who are fully present in conversations improve employee trust and engagement by 33%. As a manager-coach, you need to be fully present in coaching sessions. Block out distractions, actively listen, and demonstrate that your focus is 100% on the employee. This fosters trust and ensures your coaching is impactful.
Stacking Questions
When faced with complex issues, it's tempting to ask multiple questions at once, hoping to cover all bases quickly. But when you ask your team too many questions in a row, they can become overwhelmed or confused about where to start.
For example, asking, "What steps do you think are needed? Who else should be involved? What's the timeline for this?" in quick succession can overload your employee. Instead, ask one question at a time and give them the space to respond fully. The conversation will naturally flow, and the next question might evolve based on their answer.
Checklist Coaching
Managers are often task-oriented, and this can bleed into coaching. When you stick rigidly to a checklist of questions, you miss out on the dynamic nature of coaching. Employees may feel like they're being interviewed rather than engaged in a conversation, leading to frustration.
Effective coaching is not about ticking off boxes. While frameworks are helpful, be flexible. Tailor your questions to the employee's responses and be willing to let the conversation evolve naturally. This approach demonstrates active listening and shows you're invested in their growth, not just completing tasks.
he Diagnostic Trap
When managers take a diagnostic approach to coaching, asking questions like "Have you tried A? B? C?" it can feel like you're running through a troubleshooting guide rather than engaging in a meaningful conversation.
While diagnostics have their place in problem-solving, coaching requires more open-ended exploration. Instead of running through a checklist of options, asking questions encourages employees to think critically. For example, "What approaches have you considered?" or "What might work in this scenario?" allows them to explore possibilities without feeling like they're being quizzed.
Hiding Advice as Questions
Many managers believe that coaching is all about asking questions, and while questions are critical, not all questions are coaching. Asking leading questions like "Have you tried X?" or "Wouldn't it make sense to do Y?" is just giving advice disguised as a question.
It's essential to differentiate between coaching and directing.
If you have valuable advice to offer, be transparent. Employees appreciate clear guidance, but it's essential to differentiate between coaching and directing. Ask for permission before giving advice, and let them know when you're switching from a coaching mindset to a directive one.
Chasing Fads Instead of Understanding the Employee
In the age of endless self-help books and leadership theories, it's easy to get swept up in the latest trends—emotional intelligence, neuroscience, or the newest productivity hack. However, your coaching should be rooted in the unique needs of your employees, not the trend of the moment.
A recent McKinsey report found that 82% of employees value individualized support over one-size-fits-all solutions. Focus on understanding each team member's challenges and strengths, and only introduce frameworks or methodologies when they align with the employee's situation. Coaching should always be about the person, not the latest fad.
Endless Open-Ended Questions with No Insight
While open-ended questions are a cornerstone of coaching, there's a point at which coaching with offering insight becomes frustrating for the employee. Some manager-coaches get stuck believing they can never provide direction or share their observations, leaving employees feeling lost.
A balance is essential. Don't hesitate to offer your perspective once you've explored the employee's ideas and challenges through open-ended questions. Employees will appreciate your insights, especially if you wait until the right moment and ask for permission before sharing them.
As a manager, coaching is one of the most powerful tools in your leadership toolkit. It helps your team grow, take ownership of their development, and find solutions that work for them. By avoiding these common coaching mistakes, you'll foster a culture of empowerment and trust, helping your employees and team thrive.
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